Most girls want to one day be married. For many girls, that will be part of God’s plan for their lives. In the meantime, there are questions, struggles, and what can feel to be a time of waiting. How should a girl view this time in her life? Is there a way for her to truly thrive during her single years and prepare for marriage, instead of simply trying to avoid heartbreak and pain, as well as trying to not waste her single years?

This book addresses many questions and struggles that single girls can face. How should a girl navigate a crush? Is “dating around” the only way to meet her future husband, or are there other options? If there are other options, are there any advantages to them? While a girl is single – whether for a short time or for a long time – can she find joy, meaning, peace, comfort, and a purpose for her life? If so, how? Can a girl do anything now that will both make good use of her life presently and prepare her for a wonderful marriage?

Sarah Mally is a single young woman who both Rebekah and I look up to. She has used, and is using, her single years for a purpose greater than herself as she follows the Lord. We are encouraged by her example. Sarah wrote this book for single girls of many ages. She wanted to write a book on purity, preparation for marriage, and using one’s youth for the Lord, that would apply to older girls yet could still be read by girls as young as 12 and who, at that age, would be blessed by it and not hindered. Rebekah and I have found encouragement and practical suggestions in this book, from the time we first read it, until now as we re-read this book. Even at our ages we appreciate Sarah’s discretion as she seeks to give positive encouragement and examples, rather than very detailed information of what we are not to do.

As with any book that we read, we need to be sensitive to how the Lord is leading us personally and in our own families. There may be things that you personally don’t agree with in this book, but don’t let that stop you (as we have not let it stop us), from letting it challenge and encourage you onward toward godliness and the “set-apart” life. This book challenges many modern cultural ideas and mindsets. We as Christians need this. We may not agree with and follow every concept or detail, but we will greatly benefit if we let the Holy Spirit speak to our hearts, even if the communication flies in the face of what we’ve always thought or assumed.

One of my favorite concepts that Sarah lays out in the book was this: my life purpose is not to get married, my life purpose is so much bigger because I have a relationship with God as my Father and He has a place for me in a plan that lasts long past my time on earth. This is so important because I, like many girls, greatly look forward to the day when I will be married. However, if I allow myself to be so wrapped up with thoughts directed by a longing for marriage, then my relationship with God and serving Him now (as well as my future), will be negatively affected. I believe that something Jim Elliot wrote to Elisabeth before they were married can apply to single women, “Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living.”

The more I meditate on God’s Word and am exposed to His thought pattern, the more His thinking will become my thinking. As this happens, one thing I will understand more and more is how short life really is; this will help align my perspective to reality – an eternal reality. Marriage is a wonderful gift, but it is not the only gift God gives. When a girl realizes that life’s purpose or value does not consist in marriage, she can then embrace and live in the good gifts God has given to her now and will continue to give to her…whether they include marriage or not. Many are still in need of hearing the message of the gospel for the first time. Many need to be built up and discipled in their walk with God. We have the privilege to do a work now that will outlast us and any earthly relationship. Each of us has been given an invitation to walk with God and get closer to Him in a living, daily relationship. Each of us has been given opportunities from God to be part of His work in some way. “Wherever you are, be all there, live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” –Jim Elliot

If and when the Lord brings young men into our lives (for those of us to whom that applies), we can realize that that relationship is not something we are entitled to. It will be a gift from God. The flesh and the Spirit will war in how to conduct such a relationship before marriage. But, as we surrender to the Lord and allow the Holy Spirit to guide us in harmony with God’s Word, the Lord will lead us in that potentially challenging and very precious time.  I am grateful to Sarah for sharing her wisdom and insights to help clear away the fog of cultural mindsets and set a higher standard for this area of our lives.

“Before You Meet Prince Charming” can be purchased by going to the Mally family’s website here, or on amazon.

-Annie

Photos by Matt Enterline